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Joke of the Day

"A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown...... A cop, a hooker, a priest and a clown walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and replies, ""What.......is this some kind of Joke?"""

"[jesus noticeably walking into work 3 days late] sorry i'm late i died"

"guard your heart, cater to no man's ego, honor your own time and your energy, don't use uber. happy 2015."

"In Buddhism, people first die, then they attain Nirvana. ..Kurt Cobain did it the other way round."

"Punny Jokes Penicillin is worth its weight in mold. "

"Did you hear about the guy who got a Viagra stuck in his throat? He had a stiff neck for a week."

"Order of the Phoenix is my favourite Harry Potter book Dead serious."

"How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake? They're attractive!"

"Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!"

"What do you call a beloved terrorist? Guantanamo Bae"