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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend is like my bank account Only there for the money"
Next Joke
"I'll tell you what's a dangerous insect... ....That Hepatitis Bee"
"[counseling] She gets angry a lot ""He took me camping and left me in the middle of nowhere"" YOU SAID YOU LIKED SURVIVOR, KAREN"
"How do you know ancient Egyptians were black? Because they never dig up daddies."
"Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers."
"[on a speed date] USUALLY I PREFER COCAINE BUT WOW"
"What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You meet new people every day."
"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back"
"So let me get this straight: Trump supporters are butt hurt because someone overgeneralized them and called them a mean name? Oh, the irony."
"Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once Cop: I mean around here Me: nah they live in water"