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Joke of the Day

"I love my husband. But, what really motivates me to stay married is how much weight I'd have to lose to date again."

"A one-liner based on what happened to me at work. An insect landed in my beverage, now I'm feeling a bit fly-tea."

"What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night? Chicago."

"I am a cannibal with a new boyfriend. His name is Pablo I'm going to make a dessert from part of his brain I shall call it Pabloba"

"Someday Kevin Bacon will become a restauranteur... He could open up a steakhouse called *Hoof-Loose*."

"5 guys walk into a bar You'd think atleast one of them would have seen it."

"It would be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was all fun and games up until that point, right?"

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"so then the horse says ""Buddy, if you think my FACE is long..."""