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Joke of the Day

"Me and my ex-girlfriend just weren't meant to be together, she was a Capricorn... and I don't believe in bullshit"

"How many animals are in a pair of pantyhose? Well there is 10 little piggies, 2 calves, an ass, a pussy and a dead fish, no one can find."

"What's black and white with red all over it? A nun with multiple stab wounds."

"I think I put the roofie in the wrong driiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

"HR: Do you want your name on the October birthday list? Me: Nope. HR: Why not? Me: Because I'm not in Kindergarten."

"The Washington Redskins are changing their name because of its racist, violence prone, and uncivilized connotations"

"Dear Parents If you want to find out where your Son/Doughter is in the house, Simply turn off WI-FI and Wait"

"I have a superiority complex It's literally my ONLY flaw."

"Where do trees keep their money? In branch banks."

"A woman screams as she gives birth... ""What's wrong, honey?"" her husband asks. ""What's wrong?!?"" the woman shouts, ""THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"" ""Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"""