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Joke of the Day

"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough."

"I received some food stamps the other day They tasted terrible."

"How many feet do 2 black chickens have?"

"Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside? Because 9/11 was an inside dog."

"I'm no scientist, but harnessing the power of teen girls talking would probably solve all the world's energy woes."

"#1 pick up line in a gay bar? ""Can I push your stool in""?"

"Why do you look surprised in all your selfies? Didn't you know you were taking the picture?"

"Where can you find the strongest tea? Cliffsides (because it's so steep)."

"What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up his ass A ba-boom."

"What's a pirate's favorite programming language? You might think it's R, but his first love has always been the C."