95780

Joke of the Day

"What is will? A little bitch"

"There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't."

"Dignity: Is that thing you lose when you send someone a second text before they've answered the first."

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan."

"How many controlled oposition does it take to change a light bulb? None you know of. Since they signed a Non Disclosure Agreement to not talk about it."

"I have a weird quirk when watching Star Wars I wait for when someone is going to yell, ""R2!"" and yell out ""Am not!"""

"Making dinner in a slow cooker involves two of my favorite things: food and panicking that I've left an appliance on for seven hours."

"A blind guy walks into a bar ***thud***"

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."