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Joke of the Day
"Why did the zombie only eat blonde brains? She was on a diet."
Next Joke
"The Grim Reaper walks over to you in his Uggs, taps his Michael Kors watch and says, ""you're literally dead."""
"Hey, Baby, you work for the TSA? 'Cause I've got a suspicious package, and I need you to blow it."
"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack!* ""Fuck!"" A skydiver goes ""Fuck!"" *whack!*"
"Meet Brian, my monkey butler. He's gonna help out around the office. *Monkey flinging office equipment out the window* Brian hates clutter."
"my wife is alot like pandora radio she is always asking me if I am still listening"
"What is faster? Hot or Cold? Hot. Because you can catch a cold."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a repost."
"What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant"
"husband rock & wife shock wife: I saw in my dream that you were buying a diamond ring for me. Husband: i saw you dad paying the bill........"