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Joke of the Day
"Why did the zombie only eat blonde brains? She was on a diet."
Next Joke
"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an arsehole? Barack Obama's Tie"
"When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?"
"7: ""Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?"" Me: ""Are you the someone?"" 7: ""Maybe"" Holy hell."
"What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated? No hard feelings."
"My grandfather has the heart of a lion, ... and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo."
"What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!"
"The world does not revolve around you, it revolves around the sun...which shines out my ass."
"Honey, were out of snake food. ""What? For what snake?"" Honey, I bought a snake"
"Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise? She heard he was in a few good men."