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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait to sit in the doctor's office reception area so I can read how to fix meatloaf 3 ways & catch up on 1992."

"My steer got constipated the other day... ...No bullshit."

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"I bought my son a refrigerator for his birthday I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it."

"I dreamt last night that I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted."

"What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear? The silence of the lambs"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE"

"What do politicians and sperm have in common? About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human."

"Why should you wear a condom when writing C++ code? It's full of std vectors."

"At the sushi restaurant: What kind of eel is this? Diner at the sushi restaurant: ""What kind of eel is this?"" Waiter: ""Do you love it?"" Diner: ""yeah"" Waiter: ""Then, that's a moray"""