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Joke of the Day

"It's called a ponytail because there is a small horse inside your head growing his tail out of you."

Next Joke
 
"You should never call your ex a whore It's offensive to prostitutes everywhere."
"""We don't have iced coffee"" Me: ""You have coffee?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""You have ice?"" ""Yes"" Me: ""Were you raised in a barn?"""
"I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ."
"What is the poorest tree in the forest? The burr-oak tree."
"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this *Pushes salad aside*"
"Remember ""pantsing"" people in high school... sneaking up behind one of your bros and slipping an extra pair of pants on over his pants"
"What's the difference between a final exam and an orgy? In an orgy, you fuck and then get tested. In a final exam, you get tested and then you're fucked."
"[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] ""Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."""
"I must have a nice butt, because, everytime I'm walking away from talking to someone they say ""What an ass?"""