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Joke of the Day

"I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ."

"Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6 7 8."

"I went to Florida, had sex with some gay reptiles and bought some bottles of sports drink I now have gatorades. :("

"Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter? Because he'd drop everything"

"Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don't want to look at you."

"I don't appreciate the trash talking Chinese athletes saying ""we OWN you!"" to the U.S. team. Let's leave our deficit out of this!"

"I once thought about write a book, but quit before I even started. It was a novel idea."

"Daycare lady: *notices 3-year-old's shirt is on backward* It's cute how you let her dress herself. Me: Yes. She did that."

"People tell me I'm confusing... I tell them I stopped making sense when I lost my job at the mint."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I am handsome I would have exactly one dollar.! Thanks Mom.!"