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Joke of the Day

"Miley Cyrus That's the whole joke. though if you want you should google Miley Cyrus--the main picture above her description... wtf"

"What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water? Dolphout"

"Proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing."

"I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There's a lovely key change at the end."

"""Avocado Kedavra"" -Harry Potter before tuning his enemies into guacamole"

"I decided to rob a blood bank They caught me red-handed."

"[The mid 20s catch up] ""What are you drinking, who you seeing?"" [The midlife catchup] ""Who's your therapist, what are you taking for it?"""

"stereotypes are like black people not to be trusted"

"What is the longest word in the English language? Nina: What is the longest word in the English language? SoSA: SMILES: becoz there is a mile between the first and last letters!"" :P"

"If this cat doesn't stop trying to lick my plate, we're having Chinese for dinner tomorrow."