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Joke of the Day
"If this cat doesn't stop trying to lick my plate, we're having Chinese for dinner tomorrow."
Next Joke
"Did you know that ants are free? You can just take one!"
"What do you call a record of everything that goes in and out of your ass? An ANALog."
"How much sex does Sister Mary get? Nunn."
"Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv.. ...and I thought ""is that one mine""? Then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment."
"I'm 70% water and 40% bad at math."
"A day without sunshine is like, well, night."
"What do you call an elf who lost all his toys? Legolas"
"Parents: ""Why don't you come socialize with the family?"" Me: *sits with family* *gets insulted by entire family* *goes back to bedroom*"
"What has four legs, is big, green, and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree on top of you, would kill you? A pool table."