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Joke of the Day

"A farmer asks a physicist for a system to collect chicken eggs The physicist thinks for a while and says: -I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens and in vacuum."

"What's big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table."

"Loan me a couple bucks? ""Sure"" *throws 2 huge deer carcasses on counter* Dude where did u get those? ""..."" Can I even pay with these?"

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."

"Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together."

"Remember, freedom isn't free. If you're with the military-industrial complex, it can be incredibly profitable."

"Did I tell you about my old girl friend with only one leg? Unfortunately we broke up. Turns out she leans both ways."

"I realized she might be too young when I asked her the time.. And she said.. ""The big hand is on the...."""

"(x-post /r/meanjokes) What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? 1 dead baby in 10 dumpsters"

"Stranger: nice to meet you Me: give it time"