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Joke of the Day

"A beaver ran into his ex. ""Sorry,"" he said, ""I wood like to catch up but I'm dam sure I can't bite off more time."""

"Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key... @realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!"

"What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time *door closes on way out*"

"When someone you don't like is eating them, chips sound like 1000 asteroids smashing into the polar ice caps."

"You might not be a Bulls fan, but I know you felt it when this D rose."

"How did the Welshman find the sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying."

"Martial arts movie, starring me Master: You wish to learn to fight? Me: Yes Master: The training is very difficult Me: Oh then no The End"

"Why doesn't Hitler go ski? Cause he's blown his fucking head."

"What did one testicle say to the other? ""Hey I hear your neighbor's a real dick"""

"My friends swore I was dating a witch I now know she's more of a cunt."