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Joke of the Day

"*KNOCK KNOCK* OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE ""What do you want?"" YOU'RE UNDER ARRES- ""No."" ..NO?? ""No, I don't want to be."" *whispers* Shit now what"

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day"

"So I bought a fragrant candle the other day, but when I lit it nothing happened... It just didn't make scents."

"Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside? Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain."

"As a neat freak I'm only comfortable giving a girl a Clean Sanchez."

"What's the Titanic's Favorite Holiday? Sink-o de Mayo."

"Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was arrested for pirating movies since it's illegal!"

"""Take the wheel Harry!"" said the nervous lady driver. ""There's a tree coming straight for us!"""

"what do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador."

"Did you know Helen Keller had a swing-set in her back yard? ...neither did she"