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Joke of the Day

"The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*"

"I once slowly roasted a Marshmallow over fire until the Michelin Man gave me some free tires."

"It's nice when my kitchen smells extra clean cause I used an entire bottle of Clorox to kill one ant."

"6: I'm going outside to play. Me: Stay in your own yard. 6: Define ""my own yard"" Me: .... have fun. So her mother's child."

"What's faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon."

"What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible dummy!"

"What do you call a missing shape? A polygone!"

"Someone called my shirt gay today... True. It just came out of the closet today."

"What do you call someone that will only have sex with homeless people? A hobosexual"

"Q: Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank? A: Because she had an interest in the principal."