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Joke of the Day

"My wife claims to be very good at yoga... but I think she's just a poser."

"Pregnant The best part about being pregnant is...you can't hear your baby cry."

"Hillary Clinton hot sauce Fiery and Bernie out the back end"

"Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ..."

"What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot? Baked ham."

"What did the dog say when he was sick. Barf! barf!"

"Why wasn't the vampire working? He was on his coffin break."

"If you get a boner at a funeral is it still called mourning wood?"

"To impress a woman in the workplace, ignore her body and compliment her IDEAS. Example: Sharon it was a great idea to wear that tight skirt"

"*catches 4yo putting on deodorant* Me: What are you doing? 4yo: Feeding my armpits. Me....as you were."