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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I'm drunk, I put on a trench coat, lurk around the shadows and pretend I'm the host from Unsolved Mysteries"

"People say I'm odd because... I CAN'T EVEN"

"Nothing says ""high-functioning alcoholic"" like being really good at darts."

"I once went to Africa, all the girls there were a perfect 10..... ...on the BMI scale"

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for fresh prints"

"What would happen if all of the mass in the universe turned into energy? The universe would be light."

"What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see ""you're"" nuts...."

"What does a know-it-all always have in their kitchen? A pedantry."

"My girlfriend can only count out loud up to five. She thinks oral six is going too far"

"Did you hear about the guy who died of constipation? Yeah, he stopped giving a shit."