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Joke of the Day
"I once went to Africa, all the girls there were a perfect 10..... ...on the BMI scale"
Next Joke
"In a committed relationship with carbs."
"How Do U Kill A Retard? Give him a knife and say ""who's special?"""
"I want to hire someone to wake me up each morning by bursting into my room and yelling, ""Get dressed and grab your gun -- they found him."""
"A feminist, a vegan, and a person who does CrossFit walk into a bar. I know this because they didn't shut up about it the entire night."
"funny joke I thought my son would be happy that I bought him a trampoline. But ohhhh noooo, all he wants to do is sit around and cry in his wheelchair."
"Tip: if you don't want comedians weighing in on politics.... ...don't elect a joke. (Credit to Bo Burnham)"
"How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3....one to bend over, one to screw the lightbulb in, and one to drive the gay pride day parade float."
"Sometimes I put my workout gear on and watch tv because it's the thought that counts."
"Level of singleness: yelling, ""pizza's here!"" So the delivery man doesn't think all the pizza is just for me..."