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Joke of the Day

"What size lumber is used to build homes in Dubai? Dubai fours"

"I'll push a loaded grocery cart around for 45 minutes -- but I WILL NOT spend 5 seconds pushing an empty one back to the return area!"

"Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve? Because he wasn't polar"

"Asking me to care Would be like asking the hunchback of Notre dame to stand up straight."

"HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable ""hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"""

"TSA Terrorist Profile: male/female, aged 1 to 112, wearing clothes and traveling in US airports."

"ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before. INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again."

"What's the craziest ""would you rather"" scenario you've ever heard? Time for some new ones, the classics are getting tired..."

"A recruiter asked me if I wanted to be a hardcore developer I said sure, I've always wanted to work for PornHub"

"What does electron and proton say when they go to war? Chaaaarge!!"