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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a movie about a woman who kills her husband by giving him poisoned Viagra. Calling it ""Die Hard""."

"[sees kid crying at the mall] R u lost? [kid nods, wiping tears] Well [blows cigarette smoke in kids face] looks like u live at the mall now"

"Be Positive ++ My girlfriend always says that be positive!! You know what she is going to have HIV tested this week ;)"

"Awful Purim Joke Grogger? I hardly knew her!"

"My husband is doing that cute thing where he would happily drive into oncoming traffic & kill us all while trying to find a bug on his leg."

"If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because I've already done it."

"Why are black people tall? Because their knee grows. Sorry, I had to do this."

"A man attempting to piss in public is apprehended by a police officer... The officer asks him, ""Sir, do you realize this is against the law?"" The man replies, ""No, sir, it's against the wall."""

"What a gay guy's favorite type of medicine A Suppository."

"What do you call a horse that plays the violin? Fiddler on the hoof!"