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Joke of the Day

"*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* ""Looks good!"" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly"

"When it comes to gay sex, I think the backwards views of my grandfather are disgusting So I might try missionary style with him instead"

"What do you call a former CIA agent when a winter storm hits? Snowed-in"

"There was a professional hockey player that had to go to an away game, but he couldn't take his dog along with him. He got 2 minutes for boarding."

"People are obsessed with this storm but in ten years no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno."

"Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case."

"Drop a ring pop in front of him. If he picks it up and hands it back to you... Congratulations! You're engaged."

"My dad went to jail this morning... Because he's the jail doctor."

"An optimistic donut sees the cop as half full."

"I ordered the CliffsNotes version of Snooki's book and they sent me a bar menu, a printout of the urban dictionary and an STD pamphlet."