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Joke of the Day

"An optimistic donut sees the cop as half full."

"There are two kinds of people in this world... 1. People who can count 2. People who can't 3. People who aren't good at telling jokes"

"There are two fish in a tank... ...one is driving, the other one is operating the guns"

"A friend of mine got married on top of a mountain last year. Aye they say it was all downhill from there."

"Where did the memes make their last stand? The Aylmao."

"Abacus Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it"

"Twitter is awesome. You can have a boyfriend right in your phone. Available at all times. Unless his wife's around."

"An egg sits perfectly balanced on the apex of a roof, the wind blows south, which way does the egg fall? Down. The egg falls down."

"What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved. Sea what I did there? I'm shore you did. Laugh, you son of a beach!"

"Hillary and Bernie are on a boat Hillary and Bernie Sanders are on a boat. It's sinking. Who survives? America survives"