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Joke of the Day

"Editing a supercut of characters saying ""Don't go there!"" in movies because I can't figure out a way to contribute less to my fellow man."

"So I've been studying up on clams lately I want to take up boxing, and I heard part of training is mussel memory."

"How do you know it's time to go to bed? Hitler is raping you!"

"Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake? Because snakes make lots of strikes."

"Getting a bit worried, is this normal? One of my nipples is a different colour than the other two"

"Why your oven doesn't attend an university? It already has at least hundred degrees"

"I call my penis ""the coelacanth""... Because no one has seen it for 66 million years."

"The diamond ring on your finger says ""married"" but the reveling clothes you are wearing says ""still looking."""

"What will happen if you put anal lube where oil should be in your car? I don't really know, but I think it will run pretty shitty"

"A man goes into a pharmacy And asks, Do you have pills for memory? The pharmacist says, Yes we do. And the man goes: You do what?"