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Joke of the Day

"The diamond ring on your finger says ""married"" but the reveling clothes you are wearing says ""still looking."""

"I've been waiting for this moment ever since I got up... goodnight!"

"Being in a vortex Must really suck"

"What do you call a dog in a submarine? A subwoofer"

"I'm a human alarm clock so when I wake up this early for no reason, I punch myself in the face to turn myself off."

"What does a time traveller do when he's hungry? He goes back four seconds!"

"What do you call a fishing hook without barbs? Debatable!"

"Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys aren't that smart either"

"The Alabama Supreme Court has blocked same-sex marriage on the legal grounds that it is 1953."

"How many dead babies do you need to turn on the light? More than 20, because my basement is still dark."