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Joke of the Day
"50% of all trending topic tweets are people asking what the trending topic means."
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"What do you call someone who steals a glacier? An iceberglar"
"Why is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping? Because if the rubber breaks, you're dead."
"If it wasn't for morning television where would these forgotten musicians perform their 1992 hit singles?"
"Why don't the circus lions eat the clowns? They taste funny!"
"I'm uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. Guys."
"Dang girl are you a CS map? Cause you're looking DE_licious tonight."
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothin, they're both stuck up cunts."
"I've been waking up with a headache for years Unfortunately I'm married to it."
"I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom."