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Joke of the Day

"What is long and hard and has cum inside of it? A Cucumber"

"Just heard a dad threaten to spank his screaming son ""in front of the world."" Stand your ground, kid. There's no way he has that technology."

"In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works."

"Why do only bald people get cancer?"

"During the security announcement on the plane, they asked us to ""place all loose objects in the overhead compartment"" So I picked up my friend and put her in the overhead compartment."

"Why is steam such a hipster? Because it was water before it was cool."

"do you know? Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman? Who fucking cares."

"Whats black and white and eats like a horse? A Zebra"

"Why didn't the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch? They couldn't fined him."

"how come paul simon gets all the first names and art garfunkel just gets random words"