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Joke of the Day

"My 4-year-old just asked if peanuts had peanut butter in them what kinda dumbass have I brought into this world."

"What do Mexicans put under their carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"

"Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only Saran Wrap... Guy: doctor, I've been hearing voices. Can you help? Doctor: I'll try to diagnose but I can clearly see your nuts"

"Welcome to Syria! You'll have a blast :)"

"Males ejaculate at 27 mph. That explains why its illegal to do it in a school zone."

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"I mean, NHL teams have father-son road trips all the time I don't think they're as common in the NBA though..."

"Dad Slapped me For my Bad Skilled Jokes"

"I like my coffee like my women... Black and bitter, preferably fairtrade"

"What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Wife."