182341

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two lesbians that built a house? It was all tongue in groove Not a stud in sight"

"What's the difference between O and Q? One had to P."

"Lets play railroad I'll be the train and ur the tunnel"

"If I've ever been described as ""athletic"", it was probably meant as a combination of the words ""athlete"" and ""pathetic""."

"[lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] ""Hey--"" *points to shooting star* ""You've put on a lot of weight."""

"What wasn't stolen when CVS was looted during the Baltimore riots? The Father's Day cards."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance: the five stages of watching them put lettuce on your sandwich at Subway."

"Hello lamppost, whatcha knowin'? I come to watc-- Lamppost: Nice scarf princess."

"I hate when The Little Mermaid is all ""who cares no big deal I want more!"" Like, you already have 20 thingamabobs you aquatic scumbag relax"

"How do you make a cat bark? Soak it in lighter fluid, throw a match on it. Woof!"