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Joke of the Day

"What do you call terrorists who have degrees in material science and electromagnetic theory? HysterISIS"

"I guess you could say One Direction went two directions. I'll see myself out."

"I'm an insomniac, and I fucking hate it... My friends sleep like a log and they love it, but when I try I have nightmares about lumberjacks."

"For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep, garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked."

"Justin Bieber is coming out with an 'Unplugged album'? I hope it's the microphone that they unplug."

"I was in bed with my two girlfriends this morning.. How do you start a rave in Africa? Pencil. Am i doing this right? ( sorry for bad English I'm from Wales)"

"What do you call a con artist panda? A bamboozler"

"The real heroes are the people who don't call back when you accidentally call them and only let it ring once."

"The McRib is back. Because you're getting new underwear for Christmas anyway."

"how long is a chinese name got it ? :D"