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Joke of the Day

"I wanted a painting that wouldn't get boring so I painted a mirror."

"I'm well known for my twice-baked potatoes. I can't get anything right the firstr time"

"An Elephant walks into a bar bartender asks why long nose. Elephant: Mind your own fucking business."

"I hate buying Velcro.. it's such a ripoff!"

"Women know that men are like linoleum . . . If they lay 'em right the first time, they can walk on them for years."

"did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium got together **OMg** All I knew, till last week Oxygen was dating Potassium But they said it was just **OK**"

"What do you call someone who murders a toucan, a leprechaun, and a honey bee? A cereal killer!"

"Mary had a little lamb, little beef, little ham, tacos, burritos, cream,cheetos,chocolate cake. Her waist was wide as whoah!"

"In my doctor's waiting room, I explained to a WWII veteran what a Twitter follower count is. I think he regrets winning the war now."

"What do the South and the Sun have in common? They Both Shall Rise Again!"