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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew."

"What do you call a cow abortion? De-calf"

"Dinner Table Son = Dad,can you pass the salt? Dad = I don't know,can you pass the semester?"

"Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write ""GREAT"" on the side of thier car with my keys!"

"How do we know Jesus turned water into wine at parties? Because if he turned the **wine** into **water** someone would have kicked the shit out of him."

"Whats the difference between a duck? One foots both the same!"

"Some people are like slinkies Not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs"

"What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea? An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week."

"So I was giving my gf the ghomeshi last night.... ^That is the joke and punchline all in one."

"[food naming committee] ... Ok. Cow? - Beef Ground up? - Burger Great. Pig? - Pork Baked & sliced? - Ham Super! Deer? - Venison Fish? - Fish"