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Joke of the Day
"My friends pet mouse Elvis just died. He was caught in a trap."
Next Joke
"What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave? Aight I'll calcu-lata"
"Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard."
"Asians are such bad drivers I am beginning to think Pearl Harbor was an accident. Just jacked this from a comment on ask Reddit....thought it should be shared."
"What's the difference between a dwarf and an STD? Ones a cunning runt the other is a running cunt."
"Instead of murder/suicide, I'm contemplating the rare suicide/murder, whereby I jump out a high window and land on my girlfriend."
"The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated."
"If it took six pigs two hours to eat the apples in the orchard how many hours would it take three pigs? None because the six pigs have already eaten them all."
"""The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL."" - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls."
"""You know what."" -- They."