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Joke of the Day

"""The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL."" - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls."

"I wonder if Ninja-Siri wields Cortanas."

"[VERY RACIST-NSFW] So they get married... So a nigger and a Mexican get married, and both sets of their parents are afraid... THAT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE TOO LAZY TO STEAL"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning Hippy? Because he was too far out, man."

"If Steve Jobs can do that to the iPhone, think what he could do to Verne Troyer."

"What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend? ""IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"""

"What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any kind, buildings can't jump."

"Where is a tornado put in jail to be punished? -In a high pressure cell"

"how do you drown a blonde? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool"

"What breed of dog loves to take a bath? A shampoodle"