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Joke of the Day

"""The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL."" - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls."

"My job sent me to a sexual harassment seminar last week... And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna be pretty good at it."

"What's the difference between a Bernie Sanders supporter and a fat stripper? A fat stripper actually gets to the polls."

"Name an X-Man that is also a Transformer Bruce Jenner"

"What did the necrophile say when his girlfriend told him to be more romantic? ""You're dead to me."""

"Where do dads keep their jokes? In their dadabase."

"I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it."

"I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog"

"Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade."

"I bet Lincoln is looking down like ""dude, trust me, that is not a bad night in a theater"""