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Joke of the Day

"OMG Hiccups are so annoying! You know what you should do if you have them? GO AWAY"

"Shoutout to rattlesnakes and condoms... Because I don't fuck with either of them."

"What's the difference between a hungry girl and a horny girl? Where she puts the cucumber."

"What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut."

"What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a garth brooks concert."

"Never underestimate a woman's ability to make anything your fault."

"The only joke I know ....... What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch penis? A fungi to be with"

"Outkast: Ok now ladies! Me: Yeah??! OK: I wanna see y'all on your baddest behavior! Me: *slowly incurs $18.37 in overdue library fees*"

"Him: You're a DJ? I'm not one for dancing. I've got this leg, you see? I've had it since the war. Me: How long have you had the other one?"

"When a couple I'm friends with splits up, I always choose sides with the one who won't ask to sleep on my couch."