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Joke of the Day

"Outkast: Ok now ladies! Me: Yeah??! OK: I wanna see y'all on your baddest behavior! Me: *slowly incurs $18.37 in overdue library fees*"

"What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!"

"What do you call a gay black man? A homiesexual"

"I bet Apple's new iPhone will be a huge 6s. (Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/apple/comments/3hgadu/apple_iphone_6s_launching_on_september_18/)"

"29 and 30 had a fight. 31."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get the Chinese Newspaper. Do you get it? . . . . . . . Me neither, I get the New York Times"

"Ok, seriously men... You can't hear yourselves snoring, but the slightest crinkle of a chip bag, and you're suddenly wide awake?!"

"I wish all tests were things you peed on"

"What do black people and bikes have in common? They stop working when you take the chains off"

"I'm old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy."