198811

Joke of the Day

"Never underestimate a woman's ability to make anything your fault."

"What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it."

"So I proposed to my girlfriend at a funeral today. She wasn't happy. Apparently I killed the mood."

"Plastic Surgery I loaned a friend 5000 to get plastic surgery last week... I'll never get the money back, I dunno what he looks like now."

"Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her."

"Did you hear the one about the woman who couldn't handle a 9 inch dick? She had a metric pussy."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... His name is Chaz."

"Not to brag but a girl at this party said I look like the Hulk, of course it was when I was turning green from drinking too much, but still..."

"Good News! Jesus is Coming! Bad News! He's bring terraforming equipment."

"How do lesbian carpenters work? No studs. All tongue in groove."