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Joke of the Day
"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife won't let him use socks anymore."
Next Joke
"What did the Game of Thrones character say when he saw the slutty door? Hodor."
"Who called it a Spanish teacher instead of an instruction Manuel?"
"""Everything the light touches is ours,"" I tell my son while opening the fridge."
"I went to the noodle shop yesterday... and ordered a bowl of noodles. The waitress brought it out, but tripped and spilled the noodles and hot broth all over my right arm. It felt pretty raw, man."
"It's cray that I totes obvi say perf and adorbz on the regs"
"Lesbian relationships The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer."
"Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery? Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now."
"Did you hear? They're making the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey into a romantic comedy. It's going to be called ""50 Hues of Gray""."
"Lets role play I'll be Osama, You be a cave, and I'll hide up inside you"