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Joke of the Day

"11: He shoots for her coffee. He SCORES! HE'S... Me: Grounded."

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"TIL reddit automatically change your password to asterisks whenever you type it in a comment."

"Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours wondering where he'd seen himself before?"

"The dinner I ate last night is going to give my grandchildren diabetes."

"*emailing professor after exams* it hAs been An Awesome And greAt yeAr thAnks for the AmAzing clAss you hAve tAught me A lot"

"""Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."" ""Why not?"" [fakes a sore throat] ""I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."""

"What do you call a Chinese man allergic to dogs? Starving."

"My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it."

"I think single ply toilet paper is very spiritual. I easily get in touch with my inner self."