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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you ever build a great relationship with an archer? Because at the end of they day they don't want any strings attached!"

"How can you tell someone's a navy seal? they'll tell you in their novel."

"Several ducks were found dead in a playground. Police are suspecting fowl play."

"What do you call a Muslim basketball player's best move? Islam Dunk"

"Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'"

"What's the best thing about fucking a transvestite? Reaching around the front and thinking, just for a second, that's it's gone all the way through"

"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"

"How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2 . One to screw it in and another to say, ""I could do that""."

"wife: ""remember when i said you were too friendly all the time?"" me: [making cup of tea] ""no im not"" burglar: ""two sugars please"""

"Bom Dia means good morning in Portuguese Apparently it also means bomb him in Indonesian"