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Joke of the Day

"A nurse takes out a rectal thermometer from her shirt pocket And thinks, Some asshole has got my pen."

"Why are portraits of George Washington displayed in British bathrooms? Because nothing makes the British shit quicker than the sight of George Washington"

"Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born? Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones."

"What did the cowboy say as he walked into a German car garage? Audi"

"How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"How do you find out what's in an e-cigarette? Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you."

"Why was the landlord seeing a psychiatrist? He had an apartment complex."

"What are red heads good for? Lighting fires."

"My nose was clogged the other day. A dutch woman kicked me right in the face."

"I see dead people."