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Joke of the Day

"- How can you always be such a happy person? - I never argue with people. - That's impossible! - You're right! That's impossible."

"Remember Doodle-Bob from Spongebob? So do I, guy was Sketchy as hell."

"The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96. Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears."

"A good laugh, a great orgasm, and a long sleep are the best cures for most woes... For everything else there's booze."

"What doesn't belong in this list? Wife, eggs, meat, blowjob. Blowjob doesn't belong. Why? Because you can beat your eggs, your meat, or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob!"

"Had the words ""I love you"" tattoed on my dick. Wife made me remove it because... she said I was always trying to put words into her mouth."

"What did Rihanna say to her grandma with Alzheimer's? Oh na na, what's my name?"

"What keeps running and doesn't get tired? A Kenyan child."

"I like my woman like I like my vodka.... Gone in the morning."

"People are rough on gym teachers, but let's not forget all the years they spend in college, learning how to yell a last name in a scary way."