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Joke of the Day

"Spotting Idiots Online I wish there was some way to identify idiots online. Sent from my iPhone"

"Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!"

"I sprinkled viagra in my eyes today... Now I look hard."

"What's the etiquette on petting a baby that's been leashed to the bike rail outside Starbucks?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife? Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side."

"I still see some of my ex-girlfriends. Well, not so much see, more like...watch."

"What did the aorta say to the inferior vena cava Your so vain"

"Why is the space between a woman's chest and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there."

"Why do dogs run in circles? Because it's harder to run in squares."

"I dumped my girlfriend, Ruth, the other day. I told myself I'm just gonna be Ruthless in love from now on."