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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!"

"I like my women like my Asian food: Hot and sweet."

"[recording studio] Producer: Um what're you guys doing? Singer: Ending the song Producer: You don't have to fade out. We'll do that in here."

"""Whoa nice car"" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] ""What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"""

"Why do most people from Russia wear track suits? Because they are Russin'"

"What's worse than waking up at a party with a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced."

"What did Kim Jon Un say when his father died? Looks like his Korea is over"

"Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry."

"My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel...."

"What did they say to the doctor that wanted to sew his own stitches? ""Suture self!"""