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Joke of the Day

"What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping? My zipper."

"Corny Jokes... ..have no stalk in them."

"I'm doing 'Angry Yoga' tonight. It's just lying on a mat and drinking a bottle of wine as I shout at my thighs."

"I have a crowbar in my garage. Worst customers, they shit everywhere."

"You know you're old when... ...what were we talking about?"

"Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet? A: To stomp out burning ducks."

"Happy and Sad An old man says to his wife, ""Honey, there is no possible way to feel both happiness and sadness at the same time."" The wife says, ""Out of all your brothers, you have the biggest dick."""

"Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea."

"In honour of Back To The Future, I just went back in time one hour. That's the joke."

"Today has been approved by both my middle fingers."