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Joke of the Day

"You know the economy is bad... When you pull into the McDonald's drive thru and the person at the speaker asks... Can you afford fries with that?"

"After working a construction site in the blistering heat all summer, it made me really miss my old gig. Because 7/11 was an inside job."

"I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea."

"5 MINUTES & NO LIKES'? Well then... *deletes status*"

"A group of lingerie models were protesting They were met with stiff resistance"

"*gets home from game* ""whoa what happened to your eye"" I was on the Kiss Cam ""oh she wasn't into it?"" with the t-shirt cannon guy's daughter"

"Conversation between two accountants at a cocktail party: "".......and ninthly..."""

"My wife suggested I get one of those penis enlargers... ... So, I did. She's 21 and her name is Megan. PS: Even though the joke is in first person, nobody told me to get a penis enlarger."

"There is a blind guy called Miles, what is the name of his guide dog? Roger Daltrey."

"studies show.... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."