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Joke of the Day

"NFL No Fingers Left"

"Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test."

"How does a burger acquire good taste? With a little seasoning!"

"Earth's scientists have discovered that sheep are smarter than most primates. This explains why not a lot of sheep tune in to Jersey Shore."

"Why was the black man so tall? ...Because his knee grows."

"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."

"What time is it when 10 elephants are chasing you? 10 after 1"

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."

"What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat? Their dicks!"

"Teacher: Are you good at math ? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Yes I'm no good at math !"