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Joke of the Day

"I think the only thing Fox News hasn't yet accused Michael Brown of is stealing Darren Wilson's bullets. #ferguson"

"How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped."

"Hey everyone look I'm really sorry because I know we JUST buried the casket but I'm 75% sure my wallet fell in there and I was wondering if"

"My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the little boy? Wanna take a shower? They're to die for."

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? TUH KEELLUHHH!!!"

"More like ""science UN-fair"" *I walk away in slo-mo. The building explodes with baking soda lava* *I roll a smoke with my 2nd place ribbon"

"What did the dominatrix say to Dwayne Johnson before they got started? I'm about to be peoples elbow deep in the rocks bottom."

"""Can I have more of these mouse spears?"" ""Sir those are toothpicks"" ""I need 1000 for my army. We march at dawn"""

"My editor told me I need to be more pithy, so I booked an appointment with a urologist."