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Joke of the Day

"""Can I have more of these mouse spears?"" ""Sir those are toothpicks"" ""I need 1000 for my army. We march at dawn"""

"I remember my marriage like I remember yesterday Wait, what happened yesterday?"

"What did 0 say to 8 ? Nice belt!"

"*Draws happy eyebrows on my dog*"

"what does a 9 volt battery and your girlfriend's arsehole have in common? Even though you know you shouldn't you give them both a lick"

"I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness."

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman? Snow balls"

"2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died. His family are taking it really hard."

"Not sure which is worse, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch saying he doesn't want ugly people wearing his clothes or that people still wear A&F"

"Undressing with the curtains open is my little way of giving back to the old ladies in our neighborhood watch."