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Joke of the Day

"First guy to invent a bread bowl was like ""I'm gonna rip the top of this muffin & pour soup in it"""

"Let's hollow out a meatball & just live in there forever like James & the giant peach but instead of a peach it's a meatball do you get it?"

"""I think I have Ebola."" ""JUST DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK!"""

"My relationship is complex because I am real but my S.O. is imaginary"

"You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids."

"DAE accidentally call the wrong replacement when you can't teach your classroom that day? Whoops, wrong sub"

"Got a problem with me? I'm pretty sure a status on Facebook won't fix it."

"What did the cop say to Boris Yosanavich after pulling him over for speeding? Quit Russian."

"Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal."

"When I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come in equality. ` And then I wait for the next bus."